1.02.2009

Started on an "Up", ended on a vent

So I'm sitting here on the side of my twin bed, where I have laid for the past 1o nights (tonight will make the 16th night we haven't been in our own bed - since taking care of MIL). And while chatting with Vickie, she asked me what I was stitching on tonight. So I thought I would grab it and put in a few stitches while I chatted.






I looked up, and this is what I saw in front of me...LOL Seems like my stitching stand has found a new duty in life.





Here is what is on the other side, my stitching of QAS, Coming along great!! Hope to have it finished soon.




This inlaw sitting is starting to wear on us. I'm sure that Brian is on a border of a mental breakdown - and Im not close behind.

We have been taking care of MIL for almost 3 weeks (on Tuesday). We don't mind that we are caring for her, but its my FIL that has been giving us fits! FIL has really bad dementia. And working with Alzheimer's residents every day (of course they are controlled by meds), its been a complete challenge. We are seeing the true colors of this horrible disease. FIL's Mother had dementia too, before she died in 1975. Brian says that when he was young, his Grandma use to call Brian by his dad's name, as she thought Brian was her son.

FIL pretty much refuses to go to the DR to get meds to help him. He will say he needs to go, but the day and the time comes for him to go, he totally chickens out. It just makes my MIL upset that he acts this way. We totally want to get him help he deserves, but he wont help himself.

Tonight, I was sitting in the bedroom, on the laptop, minding my own business. FIL came in and asked me a question. It was a question of "where did that girl go that was here?" I asked, "which girl?" FIL says "well there was one girl here (me), and there was one out there." Well BIL & SIL had been visiting just a short while before the question, and had gone home. So I answered his question, and told him, "SIL went home."

It was getting closer to supper time, and no one was very hungry, and MIL had had something to eat just before, so I made something to eat (Brian was at our house working out). I was sitting at the table eating when I heard MIL asked FIL if he wanted something to eat. FIL said he did. MIL comes into the kitchen in her wheelchair, and helped me get FIL something to eat. She is only able to do limited tasks, so I help her with retrieving all the supplies. I helped MIL back into the living room, where she set FIL's meal on the couch. And I was just floored when he carried the plate of food, and the glass of milk back to the kitchen table. He claimed he wasn't hungry. (He was just really picking a quarrel with MIL)

Well shortly after that, I heard FIL say to MIL, "Who is that sitting at the table, they don't belong here" MIL, gave it right back to him. "She has every right to be here, she is my daughter inlaw, and Brian and Kim has been giving up their life to help take care of me, and she isn't going anywhere."

FIL didn't know who I was! At that time, Brian came back over. FIL kept asking Brian when we were going to get married! Brian told him that "She is my wife, we have been married for over 6 years!" FIL couldn't believe we were married that long. FIL did come to apologize for his actions, and then proceeded to tell me that MIL was crazy in the head.

CRAZY! Gosh, Ive gone crazy (both Brian and I have gone crazy!!) Whenever a fact is stated, FIL just laughs. When he is told of his actions, and what he had said, he just laughs.

Well I better end this vent, before it goes much further, as it could go that way.

We are hoping to be home Tuesday night. MIL has a DR appt on Tuesday morning, and hopefully she will get a hard cast put on it. I told her I'm the first one to sign that puppy, and I'm signing it in blood (kidding!)

Also, I just want to say a congrats to Vickie for finishing up her first finish of the year - Tiger

6 comments:

Karol said...

My prayers are with you & Brian. Hope your MIL has a good doctor visit.

Maryjo said...

You are in a very trying situation and I feel for you. We had this situation with my MIL...she thought we were living in sin. We had the doctor take care of getting her into a nursing home by saying that she needed to be observed for health issues. I hope you can do the same with your FIL...he needs help and your MIL needs relief.

Debra said...

Oh girl you have such a big heart. God bless you.
Debra in Indiana

Vickie said...

Thanks for the Congratulations Kim. I know you are justing waiting for that doctor appointment.

Northwoods Woman said...

Do you still have my phone number? Call me sometime, I can at the very least, give you some tips on how to deal with this situation. I'm also available to give you a break if you need one. just ask!

Sonda in OR said...

I'm sorry to hear your story...it would probably be a little humorous if it wasn't so sad and you weren't living it. Hope things get better and you get lots of stitching done this year.

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